Fob a term I’m sure I use probably everyday. I didn’t see the big deal about the term until I was asked to explain what it meant….and in complete honesty I actually felt silly when I did.

Fob (Fresh off the boat) a term used to describe a person born in Africa that now lives overseas, a person with an African accent or someone who is very much in touch with their culture.

Explaining the term made me realize how offensive and discriminating the word is. I don’t know about you guys, but I would not feel comfortable if I moved abroad and I was constantly called a name that reminded me that I did not originate from there. We might as well just call them “immigrant”.

I know that the word may see harmless to many but I believe that it is because we are so used to saying it. If we look at what it stands for “Fresh off the boat” we will recognize that it is simply a racist term like “Nigga” and it reminds me of slavery but I will not dig deep into that…

I assume that most of you who are not from a British Background have parents or grandparents that were not born here…so how would you feel if your parents were constantly labelled as ‘fobs’ or if they had to identify themselves by that term when filling out applications? The term is actually just rude and degrading..(in my opinion).

The more common use of the word ‘fob’ which is to describe someone who is very much into their culture, in particular an African culture. I too am very guilty of this but when people call me a ‘fob’ I do question why me being into my culture makes me a fob. Does that mean that it is okay for me to call someone who is not culture-less? I am sure that some people would not appreciate me calling them that, so why should I accept being called a fob? The worst thing about the matter is that it is us Africans that call people ‘fobs’ the most… to our own people as well.

Removing this word from my vocabulary will probably take a little while as I am so used to saying it but it really does need to be done. Furthermore, I am not writing this post to condemn anyone that uses the word. It is just a call for us to re-evaluate the things we call our own people because it seems like we encourage the racist words used against our own people. How will we change how other races see us when we look at ourselves with the same view?

My looks may fade away

And my hair will turn grey

Your pacs will disappear

But does real love care?

I’m talking about substance

I just don’t want the goosebumps

Will you be a role model to our sons?

Too many of us focus on the looks alone

But can you both build a loving home?

The most important thing is what we can’t see

The character inside that nice body…..

For I am not my clothes or my fresh weave

My brother do not be deceived

Love me for who I am 

Well…that’s if you want this love to stand

I know you are not your fancy car

Or the bottles that you pop at the bar

There is a man inside of you

But can that man provide too…


Substance…baby where is your substance?


















Why is she crying because she got an A and not an A*?

He/She thinks they’re too nice to do so and so..

Are you sure you’re not aiming a little bit too high?

STANDARDS we all have different standards !

I too have said some of the things listed above but as I grew older and wiser I realized that different people have different expectations in life, therefore, I do not have the right to knock another persons standards because I think it is too high for them or even think that a person thinks they are ‘too nice’ because they do not act a certain way. 

How can I understand the reasoning behind their expectation when I do not have the same vision as them? Or even encountered the same experiences as them….

Well, this post here is something I wanted to write about because it is a topic I see regularly discussed among young people and I feel that we should all take some time to evaluate who we listen to regarding our standards/dreams or what we say about someone else’s. Everyone has a set of standards that they live by…what would the world be without standards, in business it is used for quality control and this applies to life too.

The definition of standard: a level of quality or attainment

Standards are a level of quality…how will a person become greater if they are not aiming to reach a level higher than them. Yes some people’s expectations may seem radical or unfair to you but we need to understand that it is not our business. If the student is unhappy because they got an A and not an A* leave them , it may seem like the best to you but it may not be the best to them (different standards once again).

And the most common one I see on twitter is in regards to the type of males females want, I too am guilty of slagging off females who always want those rich boys to live off but have nothing to offer. Yes it does seem unfair but what is my business? and what is your business? Are you going to be the one that is marrying them? (I think that some males are threatened by this because they do not meet the requirements, but I will not go into that today). They may come from a background where that is the custom or one where they have had nothing. That is how they want their life to be like so who are we to knock them down for it?

With the millions of different lifestyles, upbringing and experiences we all encounter in life we can not expect everyone to think the same or most importantly aim the same. There are reasons behind the standards that we all set ourselves and the only people that understand that is US. So we should really just learn to respect the fact that people will have standards that we will either agree or disagree with but we can never really understand it if we have not been in their shoes. 

So… not feel threatened by anyone’s standards and do not let ANYBODY (including friends and family) persuade you to think that you are aiming too high..the universe is your limit so go and meet those standards that you set yourself and remember to not knock anyone else’s along the way 🙂









A lovely piece by Helen

Letters of Jay

Having eyes comes with a price.

You see things you don’t want to see.

You don’t want to see because you don’t want to act.

You don’t want to act because you don’t know how people will take it.

The eye is an amazing thing. The eye feeds the brain.

The brain decodes and feeds the body. Feeds the soul, the mind.

It feeds our perception.

Perception drives the action.

The action is then seen by another eye.

The cycle starts again.

Then we have a world of sight, decoding, perception & action.

7 billion people with eyes.

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Good evening all,

This is a post on a topic that is constantly on my mind and I am sure that it is something common among students. So I thought I would express my views on it.. I hope you enjoy the read…..

We all think about our future E V E R Y D A Y and we all want to be on the path or doing the job that we want, however, sometimes we have to jump over a few hurdles before we get to that dream job. I am currently on a placement year getting experience in my field (which is IT, thanks be to God) and since I started this job it has made me reflect on my previous jobs and I am ever so grateful for the skills I gained in the jobs I used to moan about.

RETAIL- The easiest job a student can get, most of us do not have a passion or the desire to work in retail but we find ourselves there so that we are able to make a living. Often us students complain about working in retail and all these other small jobs that we are doing now and use the excuse “it is not my passion”. Of course it is hard to be happy about a job that you are not passionate about but you have to start from somewhere….

You see LIFE IS A JOURNEY, one that we map out ourselves and not every journey has a straight path you often have to divert and take another route to your destination, or maybe sometimes we may even go the wrong way, but at least you learn something from the journey and this is what matters the most. This is the same with your future ambitions when you have to take another route (a job not relating to your career) or go the wrong way (something you do not enjoy) you will often learn skills which you do not realize will help you with that dream job you want and you will also realize what you actually want to do in life and most importantly the things you do not want to do for the rest of your life!

Last Christmas I was working in a Lingerie shop and for most of my shifts I was folding knickers for the whole day and customers would come and mess up the piles I folded every 30 seconds, but hey that was what I was paid for right? Well one day I got really angry and I actually evaluated my life I said to myself “Do I really study hard at University for this?” I immediately snapped out of the thought and said to myself this is not what I want to do but I will work hard anyway. Why? Because wherever you go you will need references, if you can not perform well in a small job what makes you think you will do the same in a big job? You will not get that job of your dreams without good references… I know some of you are thinking you will because of the money but working hard is a habit, a habit we should get into NOW.

I am very grateful for the small jobs I did before because it has enabled me to gain vital skills such as communication, customer service and etc. These are key skills needed for most big jobs, moreover, which experiences and skills will you be able to talk about in the interview without these previous jobs of yours?

I’m not saying be content with your jobs, you should always strive for better but do not let it get you down because it is just another path on your journey that will lead you to your final destination (Plus there are many people who would love the chance to have your job). Work Hard and gain as many skills as you can along the way, you will need it one day and never forget YOU WILL GET THERE IN THE END !!!

A quick introduction to myself…

My name is Tolani and I am an IT student.

I am quite a strong minded girl and I like to voice my millions of opinions and perspectives of things, so what’s a better way than expressing them on a blog ?

(It was way overdue)

My posts will mostly be about my experiences in life,  so hey maybe that will help you to figure me out.

Well that is all for now

Ciao Ciaomadametolani